‘The problems complicated’ announcer said you see
It sounded dubious at best you will agree
‘I cannot help you’ was the attendant’s look at me
There must be, fifty ways to have your train delayed

A commuter told me he just wants to have his food
Another burst into some language that was rude
I looked around and I’d say that was the general mood
There must be, fifty ways to have your train delayed
Fifty ways to have your train delayed

There’s a leaf on the track Jack
There’s trouble with the train Jane
Signals still red Fred
Just listen to me
The driver’s on leave Steve
The tracks got frost Ross
It doesn’t seem fair Clair
Just drive yourself free

The operator said we’re sorry once again
The platform said they’re driving us insane
If anyone can maybe try and just explain
About the
Fifty ways to have your train delayed

We’re all waiting to be crammed in carriage tight
We all just want to make it home tonight
This service really needs a lot to put it right
But there’s
Fifty ways to have your train delayed
Fifty ways to have your train delayed